Take it from the guys, nothing is sexier than a woman who's comfortable in her own skin. If you're guilty of meekly asking lines like: "Does this skirt make my thighs look fat?" ... stop asking. If you're constantly needing his reassurance that you're beautiful, he may start asking questions himself.
Acting like a bimbo loses it's novelty to men after high school. What men want in a girlfriend is a woman who can stand as his equal. So be the smart, savvy woman you are! To him, it's a total turn-on.
Yes, he wants to be your knight in shining armor. And yes, he wants to treat you like the princess you are … but that doesn't give you license to act like one. Allow him the luxury of treating you with romantic dinners and surprise baubles without having to demand them of him.
Men love a woman who can do things spur-of-the-moment (like grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him into the bedroom before he goes to work for some morning fun?).
What's one of the best things you can do for your relationship with him? Relax. Just relax. When you come home from a long, hard day at work and see those dishes piling up in the sink, we know you have the urge to lash out at him. Instead, try to let it go for the night.
Guys like a girl who laugh at their jokes, but isn't mindless and isn't always serious about everything. Biting remarks and snappy comebacks are just the witty repartee to keep the spark between you in your relationship. And hey, isn't laughter the best aphrodisiac?
Embrace your femininity. Ditch the sweatpants for date night and take the extra ten minutes to pull the LBD from the back of your closet. You shouldn't feel pressured to strut around the bedroom in lingerie and high heels like a Victoria's Secret angel every night, but you should feel comfortable in your own sexuality.
If he can't trust you — how can he ever see you as his girlfriend ... and eventual spouse? Keep things open and honest in your relationship. A little white lie over flirty texts with an old guy friend from college can spiral out of control very quickly into a full-blown fight ... and breakup.
No man wants a girlfriend they have to reassuringly text, call or visit every five minutes. Give him his poker night with the boys. Let him go golfing on a weekend. Learn to give your guy his space — or he may break up with you to get it.
As clichéd as it is, some men want to be caretakers... but even the strongest of men want a soft place to fall. He wants to know that you'll support him and stand by him in his life choices, whether it's changing careers or moving to a new city.
(Your Tango: http://bit.ly/IzJMbT)
You may not have every one of these at your office but I bet there is at least one on this list if not more you have encountered! -Jess
The Touchy Feel-y Creeper Who Thinks All The Women Love Him
He thinks he’s too cool for school, creeping up behind you during work touching your bare arms for a hug, trying to talk in that smooth and suave voice he thinks is blowing your mind 69 times. Unfortunately, his presence is repulsive.
The Jackass Who Thinks He’s A Comedian
They’re the ones who always have to be heard, pulling out their best, aka, worst jokes at happy hour, possibly even embarrassing someone for a laugh. I once had a co-worker who tried to make a joke out of everything, and even everybody, including one of our more meek colleagues who would never respond.
The Employee Who Doesn’t Care If You Haven’t Watched A Show Or Movie, They Want to Have An Office-Wide Debate About It
You haven’t had the chance to check out the new episode of Scandal, or finish the first season of Orange Is The New Black, but there folks go, talking at the top of their damn lungs in excitement, foaming at the mouth at the prospect of talking about all the juicy happenings.
The Absolutely Disgusting Employee With Germs To Share
Whether they’re coughing up a lung at their desk when they should have stayed their behind at home, or putting their bare dirty hands in a communal treat (use a napkin, son!), these people are the bane of your existence. Keep that hand sanitizer on deck.
It’s one thing to dance the night away without a care, but it’s another to drink like a fish and do some things EVERYONE will regret later. From calling your boss a b**h around a everybody else, to telling you that they’ve always had a crush on you and that you should do something strange together, it’s best to watch this employee’s shenanigans from afar…so you can joke about it all weekend with your friends with no shame.
Damn you. You made the mistake of thinking you had a friend, didn’t you? But it’s often the same person you divulge a little info to at work who will turn around and use it against you. Or even worse, just blab about it for no reason: “YOU GOING TO LUNCH TO MEET UP WITH YOUR NEW BOO, HUH!?” Some don’t mean any harm, they just happen to have big a** mouths.
Office-wide snacks are like a dream come true for some (Oreos in the house!!!), but it can also become a nightmare. I’ve literally watched folks stock up on numerous boxes of cookies, Gatorades and chips fresh out of the box with an excuse that, “I’m trying to get mine before everybody else takes all of them.”
You can’t have a difference in an opinion with them, because chances are they will pull out their outdoor voices when they’re clearly indoors. Like something they don’t and they’ll literally try to find a way to change your mind (instead of just respecting your opinion).
While this initiative-less individual doesn’t mean any harm, they spend too much time trying to chit chat, and still find time to get out of work either on time or mad early.
This can pertain to the co-worker whose breath you can literally feel on the back of your neck because they’re so close to you all the time (and I bet you know what they had for breakfast too), and it also works for the co-worker who sits next to you and makes your desk an additional space for his or her crap.
6 "Bikini Body" Truths To Remember This Summer
1. The entire concept of a “bikini body” is BS! Every body is a bikini body. Want to know how to get a “bikini body” in two minutes or less? Put a bikini on! Boom! Bikini body. Yes, it’s really that easy! There is no law that prohibits women who are not Jessica Alba from wearing two-piece swimsuits. You are allowed to wear a bikini this summer even if you haven’t lost any weight to prepare for the (apparently) momentous occasion. You are allowed to wear a bikini this summer even if you’ve gained weight. You are allowed to wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident, and any person, magazine, or diet plan that tells you otherwise is dead wrong.
2. The only way to get a certain celebrity’s body is to be that celebrity. Speaking of Jessica Alba, did you know that if you do 20 reps of deep-squat lunges for 2 weeks, your legs will look just like hers? Me neither, because it’s not true. No matter what magazines try to tell you, the only person who will ever have Jessica Alba’s legs is Jessica Alba. The only person who will ever have your legs is you. Exercise is great, and it makes you feel awesome, but there are limits to how much we can change the shape our bodies.
3. Cellulite and stretch marks are totally normal. If cellulite is a “body flaw,” then so are freckles and fingernails. Stretch marks are also a completely natural occurrence that may result from any of the following very human experiences: gaining weight, losing weight, being pregnant, or teenage growth spurts. People of all shapes, sizes, ages, and fitness levels have stretch marks and cellulite. It’s OK to get annoyed with the purple lines on your thighs or the dimpled skin on your butt, but don’t fall for the ridiculous idea that you must have done something wrong to get them.
4. You can’t “get your body back” because you never lost it. Flip through any tabloid magazine and you’ll see a picture of someone in a bikini titled “How I Got My Body Back.” Seriously, what does that even mean? Was her body stolen and she was forced to go on an “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”-style crusade to recover it? (I wish! An article like that would be much more interesting.) Whether you’ve gained weight, lost weight, had a baby, or been through a serious illness or injury, never disown your body. Whatever it looks and feels like at any given moment, your body is always yours.
5. Thin-shaming is just as toxic as fat-shaming. You know that meme that gets passed around Facebook every few months that has a picture of Kate Moss on one side and a picture of Marilyn Monroe on the other, and it says something like, “Ladies, THIS [Marilyn Monroe] will always be more beautiful than THIS [Kate Moss]?” That picture was probably a product of frustration with the lack of body diversity in the media, and that’s a very valid concern, but demonizing one body type isn’t the way to drum up acceptance for another. Let’s drop the idea that to be a “real woman” you have to pass some arbitrary body shape test, and work on welcoming all shapes and sizes.
6. A swimsuit will not define your summer — unless you let it. If the frantic bikini body countdowns espoused in magazines, ads, and gym membership flyers were to be believed, looking a certain way in a two-piece swimsuit is literally the only thing that matters about summer. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Let me tell you some other things that matter way, way more: random weekend road trips, backyard BBQs, swimming holes, lemonade, baseball games, huge sunglasses, popsicles that melt faster than you can eat them, tubing, bright pink pedicures, fresh fruit, laying out in the park, sunny bike rides, s’mores, sinking your toes into the sand, long days and endless nights.
10 Things You Shouldn't Get Caught Doing At Work(I think this has to be more a joke then serious-Jess)
1. Looking up pictures of naked people on your computer (really someone has to tell you that lol-Jess)
Do you remember that episode of Shameless where Fiona, new to the conservative office environment, starts researching what an uncircumcised penis looks like? It was a harmless inquiry; Fiona was just helping her best friend Veronica decide whether or not it’s morally acceptable to do away with a baby’s foreskin, but it didn’t look that way and office cronies busted her. When you’re at work, try not to Google image body parts. No matter what the reasoning behind this endeavor is, it will always look bad and these things are usually traceable.
2. Spitting on a customer’s plate of food (I worked in a resturant for 10 years and never did this... really?!?-Jess)
Look. I’ve been there. Customers can be downright cruel and vicious and the temptation to mess with their food is so high, you’re already feeling better just by thinking about it. Don’t do it. Not only does that create bad Karma, but if you get caught, you’ll totally be fired.
3. Listening to really bad music (If you are listening to WINK 106 then you are obviously safe from this, lol -Jess)
Okay, technically you probably can’t get in trouble (unless your job has strict rules about it) for listening to music both good or bad, but do you really want to get caught listening to Limp Bizkit on your iPod or iTunes?
4. Stalking your ex’s new girlfriend/boyfriend
Work is a time to get away from all the messy drama in your life, not become even more submerged in it! Try not to let yourself hunch over at your computer to squint at freshly posted photos of your former lover and his pretty new flame while whispering curses you Googled. It will make you look crazy.
5. Applying for other jobs.
This is kind of obvious, but I’ve seen it done. Are you surreptitiously typing out cover letters, downloading resume templates and scrolling through Craigslist like it’s totally not a big deal? No matter how much your job sucks, suck it up and wait till you get home to find a new one.
I hate gossip when it’s not about celebrities who have reality TV shows or have gone insane. I know a lot of companies and businesses take gossip and rumors seriously, and will not tolerate anyone acting like a pissed off 8th grader. Talking sh*t about other people is so beneath you, anyway. Focus on yourself and your career. That’s how you get ahead.
7. Running people over with your car (WHAT?!?!? I was going to do this today WTF! lol)
I guess this is technically not done at work, but if you’re pulling in to your office building parking lot, don’t run anyone over. Unless you’re Michael Scott from The Office and it’s Meredith you’ve just ran over; this is somehow okay because it’s Michael Scott and Meredith. A few days ago, a woman from the UK ran over a cyclist on her way to work and tweeted about it, resulting in the internet blowing up in her face. Oh, and she most likely got fired from her job.
8. Scheduling sexy time in between conference calls
I understand that it’s “super hot” to hook up with your boss or co-worker during work hours and you’ve been dying to do some naughty things on that desk of yours, but seriously, just save that for some roleplaying at home. Or at the movie theatre. Or wherever that floats your boat. If you get caught, you could face sexual harassment charges and utter mortification.
9. Eating seafood leftovers for lunch (I am guilty of this oops -Jess)
Unless it’s a tuna salad sandwich or sushi, never eat fish for lunch. This means microwaving a grilled salmon or tilapia from last night, and although it was once probably fresh and delicious, it will now smell like FISH. The entire building will forever smell fishy and everyone will resent you.
Whether you work at a cash register, in sales or on the floor, it is never cool to steal from the company for which you work. There are usually cameras for those kinds of things and the theft will ultimately be traced back to you, because employees talk and you might accidentally come in to work wearing something you swiped the week before. Always be loyal to who you work for. Never bite the hand that feeds you. Simple enough.
10 Things Your Man Is Dying To Tell You (Get honest with each other)
"Yes, You've Put On a Few Pounds. But that's okay!"
Nothing in life stays the same. That includes our bodies. If you noticed the change, of course he did too. That doesn't mean he has a problem with it. Many of us like when our women add on some "bonus" weight. We see it as an enhancement to what was already there. So relax. You being comfortable in your own skin will always be the ultimate turn-on.
"That's Not the Hairstyle For You!"
Whether you wear it short, long, natural or with a little something extra added in there, he definitely takes an interest in your hair. Now, it is your hair; do with it as you please. There are times, however, when he would like to have a little input without being the bad guy and simply have the liberty to say, "Babe that’s not my favorite style on you!”
"Go Out With Your Girls, Please!"
Yes, there will be times he’s looking forward to your "girl's night out" just as much as you are – but you shouldn't be offended. It isn't that he doesn't want to spend time with you. He does; he just doesn't want to spend all of his time with you. Your ability to have a social life outside of your time together makes you even more attractive. You'll never be one of the guys, and that's perfectly okay. (He doesn't need another homeboy.) What he needs is for you to be his woman. That's what gives him balance.
"Actually, No, I Don't Miss You Yet!"
When you’re asking a man if he misses you and you only just left his house, sometimes he's tempted to tell the truth and say, "Not Really." Give him a chance to miss you. Let him say it and show it when he's ready and the result will be far more rewarding. At times, a little space will help fuel the passion and keep the fire going.
“Your Friends Really Aren't That Cool!”
He is never going to enjoy your friends as much as you do. They're your friends for a reason. While he may genuinely like them, and he should, there will be times where he just wants to bow out and let you hang out with them without him having to sit through all those inside conversations about shoes and work drama and stories he can’t keep up with.
"No, I'm Not Awake!"
When you call him just after midnight on a Tuesday and ask him if he's asleep, but before he can answer you start talking, and talking and talking, he really wants to hang up. In fact, if you were anybody else he would hang up. If it's not an emergency, cut him some slack sometimes and let him get his beauty rest too.
"That's What You're Wearing?"
You may be the fashionista, but every now and then your man has a critique or two – even if he doesn't voice it at the time. That generic head nod he gives you when you ask if you look good is really his conscious effort not to kill your vibe. Sometimes he just wants to say “babe, I hate It” without you taking it as an insult or mood killer. Some looks will inevitable appeal to him more to him than others and you want him to feel comfortable telling the truth about which is which.
"Can I Stay Home Please?"
There will be times when he just wants to stay home. Sitting on the couch with his favorite food and beverage of choice can be heaven on earth for a man. He knows this can't happen all the time. But when the moment is right, it can be just as fun to kick it in the crib and just enjoy each other without the outside noise. (Plus, it can be a real money-savor too.)
"Can We Go To the Gym Together?"
Please note than I mean no offense here and I’m going to tread carefully h. Yes, there are times when he notices some changes in your figure that could be potentially be alleviated by a few good cardio classes. (And he may feel the same about his own weight gain.) With that said, he has no right to encourage you to hit the gym if he never goes. If it's something he desires to do together with you, you should at least give it a try – especially if fitness is super important to him. Adding that dynamic to your relationship could make things more exciting.
"These Ain't My Momma's Biscuits!"
You know that dish you make him because it's his favorite? Well, it is his favorite, when his Mom makes it. It's great that you want to learn how to make that specialty meal for just for him and I’m sure he appreciates the gesture. But, as my poker-playing uncle once said, "Sometimes you have to know when to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em."