You may not have every one of these at your office but I bet there is at least one on this list if not more you have encountered! -Jess
The Touchy Feel-y Creeper Who Thinks All The Women Love Him
He thinks he’s too cool for school, creeping up behind you during work touching your bare arms for a hug, trying to talk in that smooth and suave voice he thinks is blowing your mind 69 times. Unfortunately, his presence is repulsive.
The Jackass Who Thinks He’s A Comedian
They’re the ones who always have to be heard, pulling out their best, aka, worst jokes at happy hour, possibly even embarrassing someone for a laugh. I once had a co-worker who tried to make a joke out of everything, and even everybody, including one of our more meek colleagues who would never respond.
The Employee Who Doesn’t Care If You Haven’t Watched A Show Or Movie, They Want to Have An Office-Wide Debate About It
You haven’t had the chance to check out the new episode of Scandal, or finish the first season of Orange Is The New Black, but there folks go, talking at the top of their damn lungs in excitement, foaming at the mouth at the prospect of talking about all the juicy happenings.
The Absolutely Disgusting Employee With Germs To Share
Whether they’re coughing up a lung at their desk when they should have stayed their behind at home, or putting their bare dirty hands in a communal treat (use a napkin, son!), these people are the bane of your existence. Keep that hand sanitizer on deck.
It’s one thing to dance the night away without a care, but it’s another to drink like a fish and do some things EVERYONE will regret later. From calling your boss a b**h around a everybody else, to telling you that they’ve always had a crush on you and that you should do something strange together, it’s best to watch this employee’s shenanigans from afar…so you can joke about it all weekend with your friends with no shame.
Damn you. You made the mistake of thinking you had a friend, didn’t you? But it’s often the same person you divulge a little info to at work who will turn around and use it against you. Or even worse, just blab about it for no reason: “YOU GOING TO LUNCH TO MEET UP WITH YOUR NEW BOO, HUH!?” Some don’t mean any harm, they just happen to have big a** mouths.
Office-wide snacks are like a dream come true for some (Oreos in the house!!!), but it can also become a nightmare. I’ve literally watched folks stock up on numerous boxes of cookies, Gatorades and chips fresh out of the box with an excuse that, “I’m trying to get mine before everybody else takes all of them.”
You can’t have a difference in an opinion with them, because chances are they will pull out their outdoor voices when they’re clearly indoors. Like something they don’t and they’ll literally try to find a way to change your mind (instead of just respecting your opinion).
While this initiative-less individual doesn’t mean any harm, they spend too much time trying to chit chat, and still find time to get out of work either on time or mad early.
This can pertain to the co-worker whose breath you can literally feel on the back of your neck because they’re so close to you all the time (and I bet you know what they had for breakfast too), and it also works for the co-worker who sits next to you and makes your desk an additional space for his or her crap.
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